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[01 Jan 2005|07:43pm] |
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I'm losing my mind.
The end.
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| New Year's will bring so much to say, but nothing comes out right... |
[01 Jan 2005|12:34am] |
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"New Year's Project" - Further Seems Forever |
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(All of this was written at 11:40pm, December 31, 2004. But I didn't get around to actually posting it until now.)
Hmmmm...so..
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
2005 is twenty minutes away... I am really amazed by how fast 2004 has flown by.... It makes me feel old to see time go by so fast.
Anyway, tonight I went to a cookout at Stephenie's house with her family. But Steph wasn't there....she's in North Carolina on a skiing trip with Hal. Ofcourse. I really missed her tonight. It just didn't feel right without her. I did talk to her on the phone for a few minutes after I got there though. I guess I had a pretty good time... I made s'mores, watched fireworks, and shot off bottle rockets with her sister and cousins. And I drove her dad around on the 4-wheeler. haha...that was quite an experience.
After I left her house, I went home, and my sister and I enjoyed our traditional non-alcoholic champagne toast to a great new year... :-)
Out tradition isn't nearly as good as Steph's mom's tradition of shooting a shotgun at midnight on New Year's... heh.
Be Right Back... It's time to ring in the new year... I'ma go get muh shotgun now.
Okay. It's 12:04 pm now. Woo! 2005 is here!! Yay!! I did a New Year's dance in my livingroom. It's time for more non-alcoholic champagne!
Wooooo!!!!!!
Okay.
I'm done now.
Your hands didnt move
well neither did mine.
New Years will bring
so much to say
but nothing comes out right
both of us left without words
both of us lost in this world
it's softer than ever before.
And you were the outline
of everything you would become.
The keeper of these hands.
To hold you now
it is a far cry more than anything that I deserve.
I'm waiting to give you whatever the world may bring
I'd give you my life
cause I don't own anything.
It seemed like the bottom was all that I had until now
I'd give you my life
if you'd give me yours somehow.
Your hands didn't move
well neither did mine
New Years will bring me to you.
I'm waiting to give you whatever the world may bring
I'd give you my life
cause I don't own anything.
It seemed like the bottle was all that I had until now
I'd give you my life
if you'd give me yours somehow.
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| I'll wait for spring to bring you to me... The only gift that I need... |
[24 Dec 2004|01:17pm] |
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"The Only Gift That I Need" - Dashboard Confessional |
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So, I guess it's about time for an update...
I've kind of gotten out of the habbit of journaling here lately. Lots of interesting things have been happening with the holliday season and such, but I won't even attempt to catch up on telling you about them...
Anyway, it's Christmas Eve.. Nothing has really happened yet. But alot of my relatives are comming over later, and we'll have dinner and exchange gifts and all that fun stuff. Just like we do every year...
I'm starting to get really exited about Christmas now...! I can't wait! Eee!
I hope everyone else has a great Christmas this year.... :-D
This was a really lame entry. Oh well. hehh..
I'll update later.
Tata!!
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[13 Dec 2004|02:22pm] |
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[04 Dec 2004|11:43pm] |
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"Blood Red Summer" - Coheed and Cambria |
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Hummm... So, I went to the Christmas parade in Live Oak with Stephenie tonight. Which was loads of fun. Steph said she got me a really neato Christmas present, but she can't tell me what it is. But she gave me a hint: It's black and white, it's something I can wear, and it involves a cartoon character. I really have no idea what it is, but it sounds interesting, and I'm dying to find out. Oh, how I love Christmas.
I saw Kwinky today... He was playing Jingles Bells on his guitar. I yelled at him a few times, until he finally noticed me, but he didn't say anything. Then I realized that he couldn't speak to me because his psychopathic girlfriend was there. Weird. Very weird. Yes....
The actual parade was pretty awesome. There was this one float with a guy standing on top of it who was supposed to be Jesus. His Jesus wig kept falling off. That was pretty priceless.
But the best float was the one that had a band performing on it. I'm not sure who the band was, but they were pretty good. They sounded alot like Relient K, only with a female singer...
I feel weird.
Probably from all the coffee I drank tonight.
Squee!
Peace.
Out.
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| We do the best we can in a small town... Act like big city kids when the sun goes down... |
[30 Nov 2004|11:03pm] |
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"Coffee" - Copeland |
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I took the written test for my restricted licence again today...
And I PASSED!
Finally...
I'm glad I don't have to go to the DMV office again for another year. The people in there scare me. There was this one girl in there who was yelling at the lady at the counter, about how she was arrested for marajuana posession and had her licence revoked or something... It was actually kinda funny.
But anyway, after I passed my test, my sister and I got frozen lattes at the mall to celebrate. I also got two CD's, Copeland, and The Rocket Summer... I'd highly recommend both of those bands to anyone.
I drove most of the way home from Valdosta today, and I didn't wreck, or seriously injure anyone, so I guess that's a good thing... : )
Oh, and my licence pic is freakishly awlful. But I kinda expected it to be that way anyway... heh.
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| I'm Hong Kong supa' star.... |
[28 Nov 2004|10:25pm] |
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My Thanksgiving was awesome...
My parents were gone this weekend... That was pretty nice. Really nice, actually.. : )
I ate at Marco Polo today with my grandma. There I got mistaken for a Hong Kong movie star. That was so hillarious... In fact, it was the funniest thing that's happened to me in a really long time.
I listened to hypnosis tapes on the way home. They made me really sleepy.
I called Ben tonight, and we talked for a really long time about many random things, as always.. : ) He reasured me that this will all work out, with me and him finally being together someday. We just need time. I feel, like, 50% better about my life in general now. Amazing!
Silverstein and Armor For Sleep are two of the greatest bands ever.
dolla' dolla' bill y'all...
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[21 Nov 2004|01:48pm] |
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Hmmm...So, it's 2pm, and I feel like I need to update. Even though I don't really have much to say...
I got up around 12, and took a shower, and ate a steak fajita hotpocket. That's all I've done so far today.
But everything just feels so different. I think it's because of that life changing conversation about life I had with my dad last night...
I'm confused.
Wait, maybe I'm not...
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| Sidewalks... Running away from the streets we knew... |
[21 Nov 2004|01:04am] |
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mood |
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"Sidewalks" - Story Of The Year |
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Everything that was real and important in my life two hours ago doesn't really mean anything to me now.
I just had this life changing talk with my dad while we were riding around, and now my view on life is completly different than it was before. And you know, as strange as it may be to hear me say this...you should listen to your parents sometimes. Even if you think they don't understand...chances are, they probably do. I didn't realize that until just now.
My dad really isn't a bad guy. And I am very thankful to hive him in my life.
I can't beleive I'm saying all these things... Two hours ago I hated my dad. But that was only because I didn't understand all the things he has to put up with.
We talked about life, and now alot of things make sense that didn't before. But somehow now I feel even more lost, clueless and confused than I ever have.
And......I MIGHT BE MOVING SOON!
I am so happy about just the idea of leaving God forsaken Fargo Georgia...
I need sleep.
I need time for all of this to sink in...
P.S... I love you Ben, and I will certainly be dreaming of you and our random conversations tonight. :)
This is defenatly the song of the moment...
The bridge is all crumbled.
The water soaks into rocks
that fell at the bottom of the road At the end of the town.
The town that we lived in.
The memories shaken apart from the weeds that grow
Over the sidewalks,
Running away from the streets we knew,
Sidewalks,
Like the time we thought was made for you.
Or...
Out on the front porch,
watching the cars as they go by
Eighteen blue, twenty one grey
Looking ahead for the first time that we could drive,
Out on our own,
To speed away
From the sidewalks,
Running away from the streets we knew,
Sidewalks,
Like the time we thought was made for you.
Or...
All of the days have passed us by,
All of the sun is gone... away.
Sidewalks,
Running away from the streets we knew,
Sidewalks...
Running away from the streets we knew,
Sidewalks,
Like the time we thought was made for you.
Sidewalks...
The bridges are crumpled,
The water soaks into rocks,
Sidewalks...
That fell at the bottom of the road.
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| We drove back home, slept a few days, woke up and laughed at how stupid we used to be... |
[12 Nov 2004|11:31pm] |
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"Mistakes We Knew We Were Making" - Straylight Run |
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So today it was rainy, icky weather... I didn't have school today either, since it seems rather pointless, because I will be starting "virtual school" next week. And all the school work I've done this year probably won't even count, which is sorta sucky.
But anyway... Today I wrote part of a song, and painted a few interesting pictures, that's really about all I did today.
No one is online tonight! Why is that? I feel so lonely... I mean, it's freaking Friday night! Everyone is supposed to be online... Or...maybe everyone else has a life, and is actually out doing something. Hmmm... I duno. Oh well.
I can't waint until I get to talk to Ben tomarrow.. Squee! :-D
...My favorite jeans died today.
I'm having a funeral.
Post your condolences here.
Thank You.
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[12 Nov 2004|01:09pm] |
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So I have new colors and stuff now... I'm not sure if I like them or not. Oh well.. Tell me what you think...
Thanks... :)
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| I'm sunny with a high of 75, since you took my heavy heart and made it light... |
[11 Nov 2004|12:53am] |
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"High of 75" - Relient K |
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Soo.. I haven't updated in a really long time.
But Ben told me I need to update.. So here is it. :)
I got back from Tennesee Sunday night.
My vacation was awesome. It involved lots of cool museums, haunted houses, great chinese food, playing pool, fooseball and airhockey, driving down lots of little mountian roads, taking many many awesome pictures, listening to Silverstein and the new Relient K album, old abandoned houses, and many other fun and exitng things...and sadly, lots of missing Ben as well...
I would write a more detailed description of my vacation, but I'm tired, so yeh.
I have decided that I want to live on a mountain. The house I stayed at in the mountains was so pretty. It had 3 stories, and 3 balconies. And every night I would sit out on the balcony and stare at all the little mountian houses below until all of the lights in them went off. It was so beautiful. :)
Yeh, I am easily amused.
Anyway...
Today was rather uneventful. I slept until lunchtime (NO SCHOOL!! MUAHAHA!!) and then got up and went to Live Oak. I went to my aunt's house and played with my little cousin for a while. Then I went to practice for the Christmas play...
Stephenie barely talkes to me anymore. But it's not like we really have much to talk about. She's changed so much over the last year that we don't really have anything in common. It's kinda sad... Really sad, actually... Why do people have to change?
And...I love you, Ben!
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| I've been sleeping with the lights on, so if I wake in the night, your picture is clearly in sight.. |
[30 Oct 2004|11:48pm] |
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"Lasting Impressions" - The Starting Line |
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Tonight was a good night.. :)
I went to the Halloween carnival, which was uber fun. I hung out with Steph, Hal, MIndy, Kyle and Chris.
I was the only one of my friends who actually dressed up for Halloween. I was a rapper. Yes. :-D I wore my 'Old Skool' t-shirt, my bling bling, big blue sunglasses, a trucker hat, and some baggy blue pants... And I happily went around anounching to everyone that my name was 'Rigatoni'. :-D
When it got dark we all went on a hayride down some creepy dirt road. We only saw three other vehicles while we were riding, and Chris mooned every one of them... That was priceless.. We also drove through a cemetary, but to my disappointment, we didn't see any ghosts.
Steph and Mindy both brought their boyfriend along, and it made me kinda sad that Ben couln't be there.. Bleh.. I love him so much...
Speaking of Ben, I just got off the phone with him. He was at a Halloween party, being pelted with small rocks. Fun, fun! ;-D
Tomarrow I'll be leaving for Tennesee. It should be fun. I'll get to see the mountains and the changing leaves...and take lots of awesome pictures. And...the house I'll be staying in is huge! It has two jacuzzis, a hottub, a game room with a fooseball table, an airhockey table, and a playstation... Stephenie might come stay with us for a few days, I'm not sure though...
But anyway, I must go now...
So goodbye...
Squee!
I'M GONA MISS YOU BENNY WENNY!!
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[21 Oct 2004|09:28pm] |
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| Gona hit you on your face... Gona punch you in your glasses... |
[19 Oct 2004|11:35pm] |
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"Tiny Cities Made Of Ashes" - Modest Mouse |
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I was in Valdosta again today. I went to Target. I got some awesome $7.00 jeans, and a super neato light green hoodie. I also got 'The Moon & Antarctica' by Modest Mouse... And I just gotta say that it's quite a bit better than 'Good New For People Who Love Bad News'...Or atleast I think so.. ...I really wish I could find all the other Modest Mouse albums.
Oh...and I almost bled to death in Target. I'm not kidding. Yeh, when I was leaving the restroom, somehow I cut my finger on the metal panel under the door handle, but it didn't hurt, so I didn't notice that I'd actually cut myself until I got down the hall and realized I was dripping blood all over the floor. Seriously, dripping. It looked like my finger had been cut with a off with a jigsaw or something. And it kinda freaked me out since I didn't realize how deep the cut was. And it didn't even hurt at all, it was crazy. It actually bled for like an hour, and I was starting to think that I was going to bleed to death. What an interesting experience that was, indeed.
I also had a guitar lesson today. And I watched 'Nosferatu' while eating pizza from Domino's with my sister.
Silent horror movies + pizza = pure awesomeness...
And I also danced to Modest Mouse in my bathroom for quite a while tonight... Oh yes I did. Fun fun. :-P
I feel rather dizzy and lightheaded right now. Probably from the loss of blood. hahaa....
Where are you, my dear Benny Wenny? I miss you... *huggles*
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| Oh no! What do we do?! Don't look now but I lost my shoe! |
[13 Oct 2004|11:35pm] |
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"Buddy Holly" - Weezer |
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Ahhh! I'm back online!! :-D I didn't do much today... My dad and I put up a basketball goal in my back yard...even though I am simply horrible at the sport, due to my bad hand/eye coordination..yeh. I also amused myself for hours with a giant plastic bag, and I breakdanced. Oh boy, did I breakdance! Flatwoodz style!
BEN IS ON LJ NOW!!!! SQUEE! (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) benny_wenny )
I heart Benny Wenny so very very much... Becuase he's my supafly homeboy pimp, and he is just cool like 'dat, you know?
We're in a rap group, and we is supabadd breakdancers.(bad as in GOOD). We are called Rigatoni and Mastah Chef, and our new album drops next week, it's called "Italian Breakdancing for Canadians". So buy it. Or else. Peace out homie homefries!
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| Come with me, my love, to the sea, the sea of love... |
[10 Oct 2004|01:40am] |
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"Sea of Love" - Cat Power |
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It's amazing how these Ruffles "Light" potato chips taste exactly the same as regular potato chips. ...I think they lie. Hmmm....
Anyway... Today was a pretty good day I guess, a bit boring, but still pretty good. I slept til lunchtime, which is aways a good thing. I made a blenderfull of my amazing coffee slooshies, and drank most of it. Which made me extremely hyper. Squee! I played the Sims 2 for awhile, and then Stephenie called me. Which was kinda weird, because I havn't seen her in weeks, and she hardly ever calls me. I was also surprized that she still even think about me, since she never has time to hang out with me anymore. It's amazing that we used to be best friends, and we've grown apart so quickly, to the point that we rarely even talk to eachother. But the only reason she called was to ask me if I was going to the monster truck race with her and Hal.
Yes, monster trucks.
Not long after that, Xenia called me.. She won't be able to stay at my house this weekend, which is pretty sucky. Hopefully we can do it sometime durring Christmas break...
After I talked to Xenia, I called Ben... That always makes my day. :) We talked about large birds and other randon topics and we sang "Buddy Holly".
...Wow, my bangs are so long that I can't really see much of anything. ...I guess that means I need a haircut. :-P
So, in short...
Today I slept, played the Sims2, and talked on the phone a whole lot.
Bang! Bang!
Knock on the door!
Another big bang!
Get down on the floor!
Oh no!
What do we do?
Don't look now, but I lost my shoe!
I can't run, and I can't kick...
What's the matter babe, are you feeling sick?
What's-a-matter what's-a-matter what's-a-matter YOU?!
What's the matter babe, are you feeling blue?
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| I... |
[06 Oct 2004|01:04am] |
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I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you.
...can't we just be friends?
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| We'll never feel bad anymore... |
[03 Oct 2004|10:01pm] |
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mood |
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confused |
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music |
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'Island In The Sun' - Weezer |
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I just learned...When someone is depressed, never try to make them feel better. Chances are, they probably enjoy being depressed anyway.
People are a mystery...
Anyway.
My weekend was rather uneventful. Not bad. Just uneventful.
My aunt and uncle came over for dinner tonight. We ate turtle. Yes, turtle.
Turtle tastes alot like pork, only chewier...
Yeh, other than that...I just don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore. I'm so unsure of everything at this point in my life... I'm going crazy.
It's just a phase.
It will pass.
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